Somehow......

It always seems like things hit a brick wall and turn to shit, inevitably right after things start looking up.....like, it's some sadistic way of keeping me in check or something. I get my debts paid off, and a week later my truck breaks down. Then my Uncle is in the hospital, nothing major, so far.....then my Aunt calls to inform me that my Grandpa is in the hospital because he tried to kill himself by overdosing on his morphine prescription.

1 word: Awesome.
1 word to describe the first word: Sarcasm.

I'm not even that sad, I'm more pissed off at him. Seeing as my grandparents raised me for most of my life, I was brought up to not take shit from anybody (which I'm getting better at) and to just be strong......and now this? I understand he is hurt from my Grandmother passing, but I don't think he understands the full effect it would have if he left before his time. Basically, my family loses the house because my Aunt who lives there is unemployed, and my Uncle (her brother) is on S.S., which won't cover shit. Not sure how much my Grandpa gets on his retirement from the Air Force and the U.S.P.S, but it can't be much.......unless they're terrible at budgeting.......................wait a minute, I was for a while there, maybe it's in the blood.

After losing the house, there is no telling where they would go. My mom had mentioned assisted living for my Uncle, who, aside from being overweight, isn't crippled. He will love that. My Aunt and cousin who live there? Who knows.

I feel like a ass for not talking to my family very often, but it's just so goddddddamn depressing. I'm busting my ass to make a better life for myself. I have to take myself out of situations that I myself deem detrimental to me doing better for myself, and if that means not hanging with my family, then so be it. I feel bad for my youngest cousin, only because she hasn't even hit high school yet and seems to be hopelessly lost on the whole "image" thing.

Ugh.

It's Official.........

After years of being in the red, I am now officially out of debt. I still have my 'regular' bills, but nothing that I am behind on, or in collections on. I had crap that dated back almost 8 years. Long time coming, and damn right, I'm giving myself a pat on the back.

The whole sober thing has reached 19 days. I feel better, I've saved a shit-ton of money, I feel accomplished. Now to get this belly gone by spring!!!!

Vacation schedule is going around at work, and for the first time in a couple of years, I don't have a vacation planned. Not neccesarily a bad thing, but somehow I tie that to my failure at relationships. No lady = no vacation to plan. Oh well. I need to focus on me for a while, and for the first time in a long while.

Watched a documentary called "It Might Get Loud" last night. Makes me really appreciate the guitar, and being a guitarist, and at the same time makes me want to totally change my approach to my playing and become more serious about it.

Bulletwolf is still writing. Taking a while, but the songs are awesome. Getting ready to move practice spaces. Maybe a new surrounding will help with the inspirado.

Party.