It always rains on Tuesdays

My grandmother passed away today. Fucking lame.

I took off work on Friday to go visit her. I sat next to her for 45 minutes holding her hand and talking to her about her dog, our dogs, how I wanted her to meet Kate, and how we all couldn't wait for her to get better and get home. She kept asking me for a Pepsi, and it made me smile because I could just picture her rocking some Suicidal Tendencies. She cried a little bit, but she couldn't produce any tears, or any sound since her vocal chords were shot because of her respirator tube being in for so long. this made me cry. I don't remember the last time I cried in front of anybody in my family, let alone one of them crying in front of me (with the exception of the situation we've all been in for the past 6 weeks).

When I got up to leave, she pulled my hand to her mouth and gave it a kiss and told me she loved me. I kissed her hand, told her I loved her(which has never been done that I can ever remember), told her to get some rest, and promised to visit her the following day with Kate so they could meet.

Saturday rolled around and we went out and saw her. She was a bit restless, which was caused by the medicine she was on to fight an infection she had. I introduced her to Kate, they held hands for a bit. My grandma did her little "flirty arm thing" that she does whenever someone in the family talks about a boyfriend or girlfriend. I asked her if she was ready to see Max (her dog) and she got the biggest smile. I looked at Kate and she just smiled. I held her hand the and rubbed it the entire time I was there. After about 15 minutes, she was out cold. Her medicine had kicked in and now she was off to sleep.

Here it is Tuesday and I have had the worst day. Coming home and getting this news didn't exactly make it any better. I'm taking the rest of the week off from work. I'm going to be spending a lot of time at my grandparent's house this week.

I can't cry. I don't think it's quite settled in yet. I'm sure it'll hit me later like a ton of bricks.

Now it's off to watch Porky's.......it was one of her favorite movies.